Days 22-23:" I'll be your miracle."

Hey everyone, today is a little different blog.  I just got done doing some devotionals, and the Lord has really spoke to me to share some things.  I remember when my dad had left me after my second night of being here. I was still in the ICU, and when he left he said "Meg, let the Lord show you what he wants you to learn through this."  Well, now that I'm nearing almost a month of being here, and am slowly learning what the Lord wants me to learn through all of this.  For awhile, I have been asking the Lord to draw me closer to him.  Although I knew I was saved, I still had the longing to be closer with the Lord.  Now a days, you get so wrapped up with everything....kids, facebook, tv, sports programs, school. Sometimes we too caught up in all of that stuff, and don't make enough time to spend in our word, or just spending time with Jesus.  I am guilty of this, and even though I was asking the Lord to draw me closer to him, I believe it was me who was holding everything back! I was the reason why I was not getting closer to the Lord because I chose to do other things.  Why would the Lord want to do all these things for me, when I can't even make time for him. And trust me, there is always time.  Well, while I'm here at Toledo, I am getting closer to the Lord.  On the days where I feel so alone, like today, I get in my word..and turn on some worship music.  I then realize, I am not alone...when no one else is here, he ALWAYS is.  Right in my room.... I feel his presence here, its so comforting.
Today during devotions I was reading about "The grace to handle it".   The Lord gives us grace to make it through the hard times.  God gives us "more grace" when we are walking through the fiery trials. Our perspective changes when we catch a glimpse of the purpose of Christ.  If I would take that away, then this would be nothing more than a bitter, terrible experience.  Suffering comes in many forms, but his GRACE will always be there to carry us through.  There would be no way I could get through this situation without Gods grace.  Grace is a gift from the Lord, but it comes with one condition - like any gift, you have to reach out and take it. Thank you Lord, for your grace.  
I also read about "Seeing the hand of God in it." Some days I can be fearful here, but the Lord does not want us to fear.  I pray the Lord helps me see his hand at work in what I am going through.  He never promises us to REMOVE us from our struggles, but he does promise to change the way we look at them.  I am learning that I need to see the Lords hand in all of this, not as a horrible situation for me and my baby boy, but as something I am going through to draw closer to my heavenly father.  I know he has his "hand" on this whole situation.  For now on, I will not pray that the Lord removes me from all this trouble, but I will pray that he lets me see his hand in this whole situation.  
I am not perfect, and I do complain on some days, but I am so thankful the Lord has been with me the whole time.  Even in my darkest nights, hes beside me saying "come here,child...I'll hold you" "I am with you"  I thank the Lord for being my best friend while I'm going through this hard journey. I couldn't do it without him. 

Listen to this song, and the words....when I'm down and out, and my faith is shaken, and I feel I can't go on any longer...I KNOW, Jesus will be my miracle!! :)  He will be the one to help me make it through.   Thanks everyone for your continued prayers!!!  Hope this song blesses anyone who needs the Lord in any difficult situation....